


A Very Happy Birthday

by Silveralm



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-27 11:50:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12080478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silveralm/pseuds/Silveralm
Summary: “We arenotbuying Tony a onesie for his birthday!”





	A Very Happy Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a prompt from [here](https://pleasepromptme.tumblr.com).

“We are not buying Tony a onesie for his birthday!” Peter objected, trying to pull Wade away from the surprisingly large onesie selection. Wade wriggled out of his grip and rushed forward.

“But they’re so soft! Look! That dinosaur one would suit him!” Wade gushed, rubbing his hands all over the material. He took the dinosaur one off the rack, holding it out proudly. 

“I don’t think Tony likes dinosaurs,” Peter told him. He began to look through the onesies too, unable to stop himself. He pulled one out, “Is this… a skeleton?”

“It is, Petey! Look, it’s even glow in the dark!” Wade pointed at a big sticker that said ‘ **GLOWS IN DARK!!!** ’. “How can Ant not like dinosaurs? Doesn’t everyone? They’re so cool!”

“I think it was an alien thing or something,” Peter answered dismissively. He ran his hand over the skeleton part of his onesie and his lips curled. He quickly shoved it back on the rack. 

“... An alien dinosaur?” Wade questioned, looking a little uncertain. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Peter agreed. He picked out a panda onesie and held it up to himself. “What do you think?”

“I saw one that’d suit you better, Petey,” Wade said, turning to search through the rack. “Hang on.”

“It better not be a spider,” Peter muttered.

“Ah ha! Here it is,” Wade said, brandishing a neon pink… elephant? “It comes in other colours too!”

“Why does that exist?” Peter asked. Wade ignored him, instead pulling out another horrifying neon elephant - except this one was bright green. “Why do _those_ exist?”

“We can be matching! There’s even a blue one for Ant!” Wade beamed. 

“But why am I pink?” 

“Because you’re the cutest, Petey!” Wade dropped his onesies and leapt at Peter. Peter caught him, holding him tightly. Wade hummed happily and peppered Peter’s face with kisses. “So cute! Especially in pink!”

“I feel like you’re bribing me,” Peter stated, but he was smiling. “Don’t tell Tony that though. He’ll be upset.”

“He’d be more upset if I said you were the hottest. Everyone knows you’re the cutest!” Wade exclaimed. 

“Mmm… okay. I’m gonna put you down now.” 

“Petey!” Wade whined.

“We need to get the onesies, don’t we? I’m not carrying you across the store,” Peter said. 

“Ugh, fine,” Wade conceded, wriggling out of Peter’s arms and nearly falling over in the process. “It’s sad that you don’t abuse your powers more. I’m sure other people with super-strength carry their partners around!” 

“Sure, Wade,” Peter agreed distantly. He was already rescuing the onesies from the floor. “Have you got the blue one?”

“Yep!” 

“I’m sure Tony will love these.”

\----

Tony, with a glass of whiskey in one hand and his present in the other, sat down next to Wade on the couch. 

“It feels soft,” he announced, placing his glass down on the table. He squished his present again. “Is this a blanket?”

“No,” Peter answered, leaning forward eagerly. “Open it!”

“I want to try and guess it first,” Tony replied. He squished other parts of the present. “It’s soft everywhere. Are you sure this isn’t a blanket?”

“Yes, I’m sure Tony,” Peter said. Wade leaned close to Tony, so close that he was almost leaning on Tony’s shoulder. Tony nudged him away. 

“I’m so excited! It’s almost like it’s my own birthday!” Wade clapped his hands together. “Go on!”

“Let me have one more guess. Hm…” Tony poked it. And poked it again. 

And then he poked it a whole lot, repeatedly. It looked like he was kneading it.

“You look like a cat,” Peter informed. 

“It seriously feels like a blanket! Are you guys lying to me?” Tony accused, still poking the blanket. 

Peter sighed. “No.”

“But -”

“ _Open it_!” Peter and Wade exclaimed at the exact same time. Tony frowned. 

“Fine,” he agreed finally, sounding a little sulky. He carefully tore open one end of the present and peered inside. 

Looking thoroughly confused, he tugged the rest of the wrapping off. 

“What… is this?” he asked. 

“It’s a onesie!” Wade replied happily. “Isn’t it amazing?”

“It’s… neon _yellow_ ,” Tony stated. 

“Yeah, and it’s an elephant! Me and Petey chose it together! I get a green one, he gets a pink one, and you get yellow!” Wade explained, hands waving excitedly. Peter - who had disapeared for a little bit - returned with the other two onesies clutched in his hands. He chucked the green one at Wade. 

“That’s a lie. He bribed me into wearing the pink one and he said we were getting you the blue one,” Peter informed.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t notice until we got to the counter!” Wade argued. 

“You were the one who grabbed it!” Peter responded. 

“That’s not important here!” Wade said. Peter sighed.

“Shut up and put on your onesie. You too, Tony,” Peter commanded. 

“Wait… you expected me to wear this?” Tony asked. Peter froze, muscles tensing. 

“Petey?” Wade asked, concerned. Peter turned slowly to them, lower lip trembling. His eyes seemed strangely watery.

“You… you don’t like it?” Peter asked softly. He looked deeply into Tony’s eyes.

“I know you’re manipulating me,” Tony told him. Peter’s lip trembled. “Fine! You’re a horrible person.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Peter chorused, jumping forward to hug Tony. 

“I thought we agreed no hugs?” Tony questioned, voice muffled by Peter’s body. 

“But it’s your birthday! You have to have at least _one_!” Peter replied, wrapping his arms tightly around Tony. 

“I’m joining!” Wade announced, stretching his arms around the other two. He hummed gladly. 

“How soon until this is over?” Tony asked. 

“Hmm… Just a little bit longer, Tony. You’re so warm!” Peter answered. Wade nodded vigorously in agreement.

“You should be a professionial human heater. And your hair is so soft too!” Wade said, ruffling Tony’s hair. Tony grumbled and struggled against them - managing to shove both of them off him and onto the floor.

“That’s enough of that,” Tony decided, trying to smooth out his hair. It still looked a bit fluffed up. 

“ONESIE TIME!” Wade shouted. 

“I was hoping you’d forgotten,” Tony mumbled. 

“Hah! I could never forget about onesie time, Ant! You’re so crazy!” Wade replied, tugging his onesie on over his clothes. Peter seemed to be doing the same. 

With a sigh, Tony joined in. He couldn’t help but grimace as he pulled the neon green material onto his legs. 

“You know, I’m surprised you didn’t get me the Iron Man one,” Tony said, chuckling at the idea. 

Wade and Peter paused. 

“ _There was an Iron Man one_?!”

**Author's Note:**

> :O Another one with Tony, Peter, and Wade?! Yes! I very much like these three - I hope you guys like them too! By the way, if anyone has some prompts for this trio, I would be very happy to write them! You might be able to tell that I'm very much a fluff writer so if you specifically have any fluffy prompts, I would love that.
> 
> Also, I was thinking that I want to come up with a name for these three. At the moment I'm thinking something along the lines of 'Taco Trio'. What do you guys think? :D
> 
> I hope you guys liked it! <3


End file.
